Hey folks, Valkor here. You know I kept my words silent about this next sound off for a long time. I read through the Maxim’s top whatever and FHM’s sexiest so and so. I even downloaded and sat through the god awful worse piece of porn I have ever seen and yet I still don’t quite get why Paris Hilton is considered…. Hot? She’s not hot, she’s not even lukewarm. And only guys who actually buy Girls Gone Wild rather than downloading really good porn from the internet, think she’s attractive.

There I said it. It sickens me that this skinny party chick gets so much attention after doing a sucky porno. *cough*coldfish*cough*. And to think after, that she garnered so much attention and success. Traci Lords has been doing porn for years. She decided to go mainstream and start a legit acting career and she can’t even get a break. And she’s 50 times hotter than Paris Skankton. So I guess that pretty much opens the door for other porn stars to kick it up a notch. Calling Kiera Kerner, Christy Canyon, and Asia Carrera it’s time to wash off the spunk and step into the spotlight, your Oscar and or Emmy awaits.

You can almost smell the Skank

 Bad enough she makes it on the top whatever hot list of popular magazines (I’d cancel my subscription right now to Stuff, FHM, and Maxim… if I wasn’t already stealing them from my neighbor to begin with), bad enough there she is on television (thank you cable TV and your 500 channels and nothing else on. That’s 499 other channels I could be watching other than the one hosting that simple life show), what sickens me even further is when I turn on my radio and hear her trying to belt out a note. Are you kidding? Then I open up an EW and read that Three 6 Mafia want to do a song with her? Oscar winners wanna perform a song with a skanky skank Hilton? Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Go back to being the ditzy party girl you once were and stay out of the limelight please.

The best way to sum up Paris Hilton is to watch the South Park ep that does a great job, showing the world who she really is: a Simple Skank. She can rip on Lindsey Lohan all she wants, but not only does Lohan look 100 times better than Skankton, she sings better, acts betters, and I don’t care if her cootch smells like rotten fish, I’d still eat it and call it a rainbow with strawberry sprinkles.