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Rebecca Black - Friday

Hey folks, Valkor here. Let me ask you guys a question - Have you heard this "song"?

Of course you have. But if you don't know, it's "Friday" by Rebecca Black. And it is being touted as the Worst Song Ever... EVER!!!. And trutheshly? I would have to agree. This is a terrible, terrible song! And what's worse? The song ranks number 31 on the iTunes chart. THIRTY FUCKING ONE!!? Who, on this planet, that's not tone deaf, is buying this song? Would anyone openly admit to purchasing this song? Anyone? Show of hands?

And the music video has gone viral! But there's a reason for that, and I'll tell you why - because no one believes that such a song horrible exist. Think about! If you were to sing any verse of that song to your friends, just for shits and giggles, they'd look at you like you were out of your mind! But if you tell them "Yo! This chick wrote the song and it's blowin up on Youtube!" well, they'd have to see it for themselves to believe. Because I've seen it and the shit is still unbelieveable! Really, the song is a piece of shit! I'm talkin, fresh out of a dog's ass, rolled in musty cheese, and soaked in water from the Hudson River (I'm from Jersey, and I can get away with saying that).

I'd make a dirty joke... but I don't want Chris Hansen at my door

But she did try to make an effort to prove she's not the worse by going on Good Morning America - and totally proving just how sucky she really is. She actually sang that damn song, acoustic style! WOW!!! Just when you thought it couldn't get worse... it does! But there's some saving grace to this uhhhh phenomenon, check out these interesting reactions, starting with Angry Grandpa:

And then there's this piece, where this dude tries to explain the existence of the song. Kinda makes some sense, but the song still sucks:


Oh this is my favorite! But ya gotta wait for it:

And here's someone who appears to be on the same page as me... too bad he's gay. But it doesn't matter because we're on the same page:

Last one, but from a female standpoint (actually I thought the last one was from a... nevermind). At least she has sexy bewbs!!:

A lot of people don't know if the song is real or just a spoof. Well, I honestly think it's real. Sadly, it's out there and there's no turning back. I've read some of the comments out in internetz land and it ain't pretty. And while I don't wish death upon Rebecca, as many people have stated in their comments (be nice!), I do hope she looks at this as a learning experience and be mindful what she (or her producers) release onto the masses. Yes you've been watched by millions, but for the most part your a joke and not a funny one! Really I'm almost embarrassed for you!

Top Ten things I'd rather do than to sit through that Rebecca Black Video again:

  • Sit through "A Serbian Film" fives times in one sitting
  • Sit through 2 Girls 1 Cup in one sitting! (Yes watching two girls eat shit is actually better than one girl spewing it)
  • Eat a dead hedgehog
  • Eat a LIVE hedgehog
  • Eat a dead hedgehog, while watching A Serbian Film, with the girls from 2 Girls 1 Cup
  • Let Charlie Sheen do blow out my ass - Winning!
  • Have sex with a 3rd world prostitute, after Ron Jeremy (sloppy seconds).
  • sing "Feelings" in front of [Your Favorite Sports Team Here]
  • Touch Paris Hilton
  • Have sex with Paris Hilton, after Ron Jeremy, and [Your Favorite Sport Team Here]

Valkor Out!

Email: valkor@the-other-view.com

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