Hey folks, Valkor here. When I first heard Transformers was
going live action, I was damn excited. Then
Transformers, the live action film, actually rocks.
I’m very, very, very surprised just how good the film is.
Peter Cullen’s Optimus Prime opens the film with a narration about Cybertron,
the Autobot Decepticon battle, and this thing called the Allspark, which is
basically a cube with so much power that it would be the deciding factor in the
war between Autobots and Decepticons. Once we get past that, then we move to
YES! YES! YES! This is THE summer movie that pretty much
does it for me. This is a true guy film with lots of robots and lots of shit
blowing up all over the place. My biggest fear was that the Transformers would
get little screen time and the humans more. It’s actually very well balanced.
Once that fear was set aside then there’s the plot. The plot was actually
pretty weak. The whole thing about the Allspark, makes no sense. It’s a cube
that can make things into Transformers…. Okay. You would think once the
Autobots found it they would use it to make more Autobots to fight against the
Decepticons. I mean that’s what Megatron wanted. The Allspark seemed pretty
insignificant to me and I think the writers could have thought up something
better. While the story in and of it self harkens back to G1, they could have
stuck with the G1 storyline where the Decepticons came to earth to gather
resources to use in the war. But visually this is what
This actually moves us into the negatives of the film. The plot was one, another are the scenes that actually made no sense and just went on longer then they should have. One scene in particular, the Autobots are at Sam’s house, while Sam looks for the glasses. Too fucking long! Giant robots sneaking around the house, the parents doing whatever it is they were doing and Sam looking for the glasses? They could have chopped this 10 minute plus scene down to five easy. We didn’t need the complication of Sam trying to keep the Autobots secret from his parents. That’s time wasted when we could have been blowing more shit up.
Now I will agree with a lot of folks, namely my buddies Alacran and AP3X on the movie being a big advertisement. But that’s the pun, I think. The original Transformers TV series was nothing more than a 30 minute commercial used to sell toys. However it is a big distraction when you have the GM logo in your face every 30 seconds. Leave us not forget Nokia, Mountain Dew and even the Xbox 360 made an appearance. WOW!
Another objection has to be the jokes. Even more time wasted when we could use all this wasted time blowing shit up. Optimus’s “My bad”, Bumblebee peeing on a guy, one of the army guy’s, while in the midst of battle, actually argues with an operator over how he can save money if he buys into a plan. HUH? It’s actually the jokes that draw you OUT of the film. For the next film, definitely leave the jokes out. Or actually make them funny.
The ending battle between Optimus and Megatron, while heavy on action was a bit of a let down at the end. I mean I thought it was bad, AP3X and Alacran thought I thought it could have ended better. At least toss in the Matrix, something. ANYTHING!
Lastly the design of the Transformers. I didn’t hate their look, but I think there are just too many parts. TOO MANY PARTS. It took all but a minute to transform, when it’s something that should be instantaneous. Anyone suffer through Beast Machines, when they had to “learn” to transform? This feels like Beast Machines, and Beast Machines sucked huge balls. The overall look of the bots are great, but you don’t need the original transforming sound for something that will take 30 seconds more after the sound passes. It loses the effect of the whole thing. Prime has a mouth. UGH! ILM should have stuck with the face plate. Save on the animation and the money you save could have been used to blow more shit up.
But it’s all about the robots and shit blowing up and I got
more than my money’s worth.