Hey gang, Valkor here. So a couple of months ago I posted a review of a really stupid movie called "ThanksKilling". It was intentionally stupid and I could totally dig it – it really was a lot of fun. So the guys behind that film put out a Kickstarter for the sequel, going above and beyond their goal, allowing the second film to be made. I'll admit I was excited to see what direction the sequel would go, but after watching ThanksKilling 3… *sigh*. Some mild spoilers ahead.
ThanksKilling 3 follows along the same lines as Blair Witch 2 as well as Grave Encounters 2 in that it admits the first film was just a movie. However, it's stated that the second film, invloving Turkie in space, was so bad that any and all copies were destroyed, never ever to be viewed. Save for one copy that was simply tossed away. When Turkie (Jordan Downey), now a family bird with wife and son, hears news of the destruction of his film, he switches from house husband to psycho bird. And with his son Nibla (Preston Altree - both in bird and spirit form), they set out to find the last copy of the film, which is said that if anyone views it… they will die. So now Turkie is on a quest to not only find that last copy, but to ensure that everyone on the planet sees it.
Running parallel to Turkie's evil plans, we're introduced to a little puppet named Yomi (Jordan Downey), who has literally lost her mind – not even kidding, her mind just up and floats away. And now she's off on a quest to find it. She meets with human character Uncle Donny (Dan Usaj), creator of the PluckMaster 3000, whom she believes he can help her find "peace of mind" or a "piece of her mind" as she calls it. Yomi believes her mind can be found in the land of Thanksgiving and asks that Donny takes her there. Along the way they'll travel to many different worlds such as Turkey Hell, and run across an assortment of strange puppets such as rapping granny named Flowis (Marc M), Rhonda Worm (Kevin Stewart), a bodyguard Muff (Jordan Downey), and the WiseTurkey (also Jordan Downey) among a host of other puppet characters laced throughout the film.
That's right, ThanksKilling 3 is a puppet tour de force; in almost every scene you're introduced to a new puppet character that it makes you wonder: is this where all the money was spent? Puppets? Really?
But on top of the additional puppet cast, ThanksKilling 3 also adds more visual flair, a deeper… somewhat original story, and it takes the stupidity from the first film to a whole new level. Is that necessarily a good thing? LWe'll find out in the TOV Breakdown.
ThanksKilling 3, for starters, offers up a new HD that gives the film a big screen appearance. Yup production values are high in this one and it shows such as Turkie having added motion, plus there's lots of digital effects throughout. On top of that, the film opens up with dem sweet tits of Wanda Lust. Yup you can't go wrong starting out a film with a nice pair of bewbies. But other than that there's…
I absolutely loved, loved, LOVED the first film! As stupid and cheesy as it was, it also had its charm and it was so much fun. However ThanksKilling 3... ugh! This film sucked! Whether it was intentionally bad (much like the first) or not, I can't get into this one – it's so damn bad it hurts my brain! Let's start with the main plot; Turkie seeking out the film would have been fine on its own, but then you toss in Yomi looking for her brain. HER BRAIN? Why was that even necessary? Why couldn't the film be just about Turkie looking for that damned cursed DVD, hacking and slashing everyone and anyone who knows about it, until he finds it, leading into the whole" play the film for the world to see, mass destruction, etc, etc". Now that is something I would have loved to have seen! And since the first film exist as a film, it leaves room to bring back some, if not all, of the original cast members who could try and stop him. But nope, all we get are a bunch of puppets. And In almost every scene there's a new puppet, each one worse than the one before it. Why all the damn puppets? It makes absolutely no sense! Next, what happened to all of Turkies cool one-lines? The rest of the cast get some cheesy lines in, but Turkie? Hardly any. And lack of any human characters means Turkie is killing puppets. UGH! So we have bad plot, too many puppets, and lack of Turkie doing what he did from the first film. what else are we missing? Pacing! Not only is the film slow but it's also too damn long. The first film was 60 plus minutes of cheesy entertainment. ThanksKilling 3 tacks on 30 extra minutes, which really drags. Just when I thought the film was near over, there was actually 20 minutes more to go and I was so close to saying "forget it, I wanna go to bed". However, I stuck it out until the end and overall... I was not impressed.
The Ugly (maybe disturbing even):
Flowis is probably the ugliest puppet I've ever seen. Pic below related, its Flowis. Oh but she does have a bad ass rap at the end 'Sprinkle of Wrinkle". Now that was sorta funny.
If anyone has ever watched anime Chobits, there's a scene in ThanksKilling that recreates the scene where Hideki activates Chi. But in TK3 its Donny awakening Yomi. It's not as perverted as Chobits, but the sexual implications are there.
While you get the pumped up production value, ThanksKilling 3 doesn't offer up much else; it's slow paced, boring, and filled with too many damned puppets (I can't stress that enough. Too. Many. Damn. Puppet). However if you're curious about the film you can check it on digital download (iTunes, Amazon Instant Video) or Video on Demand. But as it stands, I'm giving ThanksKilling 3… a 1 out of TOV 5 stars. I had high hopes for this one, but was severely let down.