Hey folks, Valkor here. Whenever Hollywood enters videogame territory and try to adapt a game into a film, usually the results are less than spectacular. Sometimes they come close (Mortal Kombat) and sometimes they fail miserably (Street Fight, Super Mario Bros.). With the Tomb Raider films… well… they weren’t awful… but they weren’t good either. Well a new film has just surfaced, rebooting the series with a new actor playing the role of the buxom adventurer Lara Croft and it’s been written, produced, and directed by Stephen Reynolds. The film is titled Tomb Raider Ascension, not a Hollywood film; more like a fan film, but it’s still worth the watch.
Tomb Raider Ascension is all about Lara Croft, who sets out to find her father, who went out on an expedition to Cambodia to search for a stone called "The Ascension Stone", a stone that could save the world from disaster in the year 2012. But it also tosses in some back story, which to me makes little to no sense. First she and her mom were involved in a plane crash, the mom dies and Lara ends up in a village, recuperating. After that incident Lara becomes a mental case; a doctor tells her father that due to her mental state Lara needs to be around people. Okaaaaaaay. Her uncle looks to take control of her estate and her Butler is like Alfred from Batman (Hell even Jax, her trainer even calls him “Alfred”). The film’s run time is little more than an hour, so what do you get after all this?
There are two things I like about this film. One is Anna Tyrie who plays Lara Croft. It’s as if the spirit of Lara from the game entered this woman body allowing Anna to play Lara to a tee, right down to the braided pony tail and the two strands that drape across her face. It also helps that she naturally has a brit accent as opposed to pretending to have one. Her body is bangin, especially when she flips, tips, runs, jumps, and moves… it’s so damn sexy it hurts… the tight shorts, tight top, tight everything… GRRRRR!!! So uhhh… yea kudos on the casting choice. 2nd is the music, which has a hint of “Batman Begins” with a kind of “Back to the Future” type spin. You know that tune that plays whenever Marty does something cool? Yea, that happens in this movie and I love it. Oh and the film’s ending leaves it open for a sequel, which is good because it needs more action. And with that I turn to…
Whooooo here goes. I wanted to like this movie! I really, really wanted to like it. But I can’t like it that much. It's just... ok. It’s a Tomb Raider movie that’s lacking any life. Action is minimal, till you get to the end, but there's nothing climatic about it. Yea it's sexy when Lara is poppin off some bad games, but that's it. and there’s so much talking that it’s damn near boring. Plus I don’t like the airplane crash back-story; sorry but it’s weak and serves no purpose. And there’s nothing here that says this Lara is supposed to be a bad ass. Yea she’s hot and does a lot of bad ass things, but… there’s just not enough of her "being" a bad ass.
Overall Tomb Raider Ascension isn’t a bad film, especially for a fan flick. It just needs less talky and more kick assery to make it the perfect film. If the second part has all this (If there is a second part) then I’d say we have a winna! But until then Tomb Raider Ascension gets 2.5 stars. But Anna gets 5 stars on the PerfectView meter as she embodies everything that is Lara Croft and more. I’d like to raid her tomb… if you know what I mean… and I think you do.
Sadly, this is all you get to see...