YEE HAW!!! My fellow Epicians, it is I your friendly neighborhood reporter Epic-1!!! Today we are going back to the Wild West with this remake of a 1947 classic titled "Angel and the Badman, which featured John Wayne. The difference here is that John Wayne was a legend even then. However this films stars Lou Diamond Phillips (I knew voting for him on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! Would come back to haunt me).
Angel and the Badman starts off with a little shootout between 3 guys against Quirt Evans (Lou Diamond Phillips), who is the fastest gun in the west as we find out during the film. Quirt shoots all three guys but at the last second one of the bad guys takes a shot and it catches him in the stomach. So he rides on his horse to this farm which we find out is owned by a Quaker family and the daughter, Temperance (Deborah Kara Unger), falls in love with Quirt at first sight. He puts up a fight and tells them he wants to go to the town to send a message and they get to the telegraph operator (Michael Teigan). Now usually I wouldn't name the operator but this man made the movie just that much better; he was the comic relief and trust me we needed him. After Quirt leaves his message the Quakers take him back home where they call in Doc Johnson (Don Thompson) and he says that Quirt will live but needs too be in bed for two weeks. When Quirt finally awakens he sees that Temperance was taking care of him and falls for her as well. We then find out that Quirt has a long rivalry with this other cowboy named Loredo (Luke Perry) who along with his henchman Hondo (John Tench) want to kill Quirt. The Quakers take Quirt in and this cowboy flick turns into a love fest real quick. There is no shooting, no cursing, no nothing but a few kiss scenes between Quirt and Temperance. During the movie, Marshall Sam O'Connell (Winston Rekert) shows up and tells Quirt that he is going to let him and Loredo shoot it out and the winner will get hung, well at the end of the movie we have the shootout. Now the shootout comes after Loredo burns down the Quaker's store with Quirt and Temperance inside. Temperance must have smoke in her lungs or something because Doc Johnson says she only has a few hours to live. Quirt decides he must get revenge so he goes into town and finds the telegraph operator, who by this time was telling everyone that he and Quirt were best friends, that Loredo came and hit him, and that Quirt was going to kick Loredo's ass for him. Quirt makes the man go and tell Loredo to meet him outside for a gunfight. The shootout is about to happen when Temperance, who the doctor said was going to die, miraculously becomes better, shows up to the gun fight stands in between them, puts her hands out, to which Quirt gives her the gun. So we now have Quirt unarmed and three bad guys with guns in front of him - Loredo, Hondo, and a third guy I believe was named Auburn. So will Loredo shoot an unarmed man? Will Quirt get out of this somehow? Well my friends this movie deserves to be unmasked so do not keep reading if you want to see this movie.
The ending happens when Loredo is about to go for a shot and he gets shot by Marshall O'Connell. That's right Sam shoots all three men down and tells Quirt that he knew they were the bad guys and that he owns this piece of land that they were all fighting for. Quirt says, "It figures the day I become the richest man in Oregon, I don't need it anymore." WTF!!!!! You just turned into a Quaker just like that? You were about to shoot this fucking guys head off and because of some Pu-Tang you decide heck I don't need to be rich. WTF!!!!
The Good
The good of this movie is very limited, but I give credit where it is due, Lou Diamond Phillips did a good job (He is definitely no Duke). The telegraph operator was funny when he helped in the beginning, when he was saying that he and Quirt were friends, and then when Loredo shows up he says he doesn't really know him, and after Loredo beats him up he goes around saying wait until Quirt sees this he will get me some revenge lol.
The Bad
Well, first off the ending sucks. I hated the fact that Temperance put her two bits in. Then we have the fact that there were barely any gun fights. This is a western! Where are the gunfights? Finally, Why in the blue hell is there Chinese or Japanese music playing in the background when Quirt and Temperance are about to get it on in a western? WTF!!!!
The Ugly
Now, I personally am not a big Luke Perry fan but, he is the main bad guy in the movie. So why in the hell does his sidekick Hondo have more lines than him? Luke or Loredo has maybe ten lines in the whole movie, he deserves so much more. Hondo has more lines than him, heck even Doc Johnson has more lines than him. WTF!!!!
So in conclusion, "Angel and the Badman" isn't all bad, but it definitely isn't great. I'm giving this move 2.5 out of 5 stars and it has been Epic-1 tested and not TOV Approved!!!
This movie sucks, pilgrim.