Hey folks, Valkor here. I know I’m kinda late to the party with this one, but I just wanted to satisfy my sense of moral outrage… wait why do I know that? DAMN YOU ROGER RABBIT!!! Anywho, this past weekend I got the chance to watch the latest by Sam Raimi “Drag me to Hell”; It takes him back to the days when he made silly horror like Evil Dead… or Evil Dead 2… or *GASP* Spider-Man 3.
Drag me to Hell focuses on a young girl named Christine Brown (Alison Lohman) who, just to get a leg up, denies a poor senior, Sylvia Ganush (Lorna Raver), an extension to pay back her home loan. In turn the old woman places a curse on Christine, and it’s a nasty one too. She and her husband Clay Dalton (Justin Long) visit a psychic named Rham Jas (Dileep Rao) who tells her what we already know; she’s got a bad curse on her. So we spend the rest of the film watching as the curse takes over Christine’s life, ultimately she comes face to face with the spirit… and well things get pretty silly after that. Watching the film, you know how it’s gonna end well before it ends, and let me tell ya… Well let’s just get on with the review.
The film has plenty of great jump scares; you know the kind – things are quiet and than all of a sudden BOO! Something jumps out at ya! Yea you get plenty of those and their all good. You also need to bring some friends to see this film and it’s just that much more enjoyable. Why? Because you can play the game “What will appear in Christine’s mouth” as it’s some sort of running gag every other scene something ends up in there; Old lady, bugs, old lady spit, a handkerchief. It makes me wonder what Raimi left on the cutting room floor of what went into Christine’s mouth. In fact, I would love it if he made a film called “Christine’s Mouth” where all of a sudden shit would just pop in there. What a drinking game that would make! The acting is total B-Movie, but there’s nothing wrong with that as this entire film has a B-Movie feel to it.
*sigh* I’ve sat through some cheesy films, but this is cheese wrapped in bacon that’s been sittin out in the sun soaked in cat piss bad. Ok maybe not THAT bad, but it’s pretty bad. What kills it is the predictability, but that’s just nitpicking. The ending is far worse because you see it coming a mile away, and yet you sit there just to see it. Yea, here's the big reveal:
1) Christine is tortured through this entire film, because some
old lady took one of her buttons, places a curse on it and gives
it to her. Then she finds out at the end of the film that all
she needed to do is give it away. UGH!!!
2) OK back to the button. We find out that if Christine gives the button away, the curse will be lifted. So what happens? She drops this coin in an envelope that belongs to her boyfriend coin whilst in his car. This is key because she finds where the old lady is buried, digs up her grave, and shoves what she believes to be the cursed button down this dead lady's throat. At the end, Clay says “hey did you lose a button?” Turns out the envelope she picked up was her boyfriend’s coin and NOT the button. Oh and this is the day the demon show’s up and well… you know what happens. (It’s the name of the freaking movie!!!
A small boy falls off a high balcony, face down onto a marble floor, and lives... until he’s dragged to hell. Uhmmmm…. What!!?? The hard drop to the floor didn't kill him?
Christine reveals to Clay at the end of the film that she could have given the old lady the extension of her loan and Clay says “You have a good heart”. And Val would have said “I’m going to punch you in the face with my ring hand!”
The film is getting major hype, but I just don’t see it. Then again I was told I have poor taste in movies for liking Matrix Revolution and Dragon Ball Evolution. Either way Drag Me To Hell has it’s moments and does make for some fun watching, when you’re with a great group of friends, other than that it just plain sucks. Out of TOV 5 stars I give it a 1.5, simply because…
Question of the day: If you had an item that cursed you and the only way to remove the curse would be to give the item to someone else, who would you give it to and why? Send me your answers for posting fun.