Hey gang, Valkor here. And I trust you guys and gals had a great holiday weekend of stuffing your face with "dat bird" or beating out the crowd for those "amazing" black Friday deals. And even if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving or partake in the hunt for super low prices, no need to worry. There's plenty more holiday ahead, so you'll find one that'll suit your fun time needs. Unfortunately for the group in this next flick, Killer Holiday DVD, they're not only off to a bad start for their holiday journey, they're also in a really crappy movie too! MAJOR spoilers ahead, though there's some good to be had in all of this. But nout about the film.
Killer Holiday focuses on a group of friends off for a little spring break action along route 66, geared up in a fully loaded RV. After a break at a redneck gas station, complete with a crappy snake attraction, the group makes a sudden stop that leads them to an old sign for a rundown amusement park – Muertos Ride Playland. Of course curiosity gets the best of them and they seek out the park. They're stopped along the way by an old man, who forces them at gunpoint to go back. The take off but return and the old man is ever so happy to see them and even tells them how to find the park. Why is that? Hang on we'll get to that in a bit. So they find the park, have a little fun exploring, and decide to hang out around the park for the night. And that's when the bodies start dropping.
Unbeknownst to the group, they've been followed by a killer named Spider (Michael Capon), who along the way has been cleaving his own path of death. I should point out that at the beginning of the film, Spider kills the parents of one of the girls in the group and now he has the bunch trapped in this creepy rundown amusement park, killing them off until only one sole survivor is left… actually there were two.
So what's Spider's motive for killing this group? And what does it have to do with the old man? Technically it doesn't have much to do with him; he raised Spider as a kid and knows that Spider killed his father, who "supposedly" killed his sister (forgive me if I got that wrong, but ultimately I don't care). After that we get two "stunning" revelations. The first reveal: the girl whose parents are killed at the jump – Taylor (Rachel Lara)? Yea she and Spider are in cahoots and they set up the death of the parents and her friends. Why? It's never really answered but I'm assuming she just hates them. The second reveal: A second girl in the group – Cammi (Julia Beth Stern), is actually the half-sister that Spider thought had died many years ago. The two get into a bit of a scuffle, but Cammi comes out on top, leaving Spider behind with a broken ankle. Yup after he kills all of her friends, she leaves the killer alive.
And how does this film ultimately end; after Cammi's escape, she's compelled to find her birth mother to either a) get to her before Spider does or b) learn more about Spider and her past (my vote is b). But that will never happen since Spider has found her.
Killer Holiday is one of those films that probably sounded amazing on paper, but the end results were less than stellar. And I'll give you the 411 in the TOV Breakdown.
The Good:
Wait, could there possibly be some good that comes from this piece of tripe? (FYI, I hate tripe). Catrien Maxwell has the perfect end song that probably would have worked if used in a better slasher horror flick. Her song "Monster" is captivating and creepy, with some haunting vocals tossed in. And on top of that, she's quite fetching. Catrien, if you're ever playing the NY/NJ area, let your boy Val know so I can come out and support a sister.
The Bad:
Where do I begin with this one? Killer Holiday is a total mess in my eyes. The use of the crazy, music video slo-mo/hyper cuts used throughout… I'm not sure what artistic angle the director/editor/whomever was going for, but it doesn't work. It comes across more annoying if anything. Next, the dialogue is atrocious; simply some of the worse dialogue I've ever had to listen to in a film. The conversations were all over the place and it has no flow to it at all. Next, we're introduced to a group of policemen, who are working the house where Taylor's parents were killed, complete with a somber detective who seems to have some interest in the case… but then they're never seen from again. So why on earth does this scene exist? Or what about the scene involving Cammi's dream? Nothing ever comes of that either. *sigh* Next on the chopping block is Spider; what type of killer is he supposed to be? He starts out as a straight up slasher who does a bit of toying with his victims. But then he switches gears and goes all Jigsaw on us, putting one of the victims in an intricate trap that, I will admit, was the film's one glimmer of hope. He's got a whole fucking amusement park to play with, why didn't we see more deaths like that one trap? Finally we have the reveals; the first reveal with Taylor and Spider working together… it almost made sense. And it probably would have made more sense had we been shown why Taylor wanted her parents and friends dead in the first place. The second reveal with Spider and Cammi being related... I get it, he's been searching for her and she's the one that contained the beast. But come on, the Taylor angle might have worked better solo, it just needed to be fleshed out further. I could go further on the hate trail, but in the end though, Killer Holiday simply wasn't worth the trek.
The Ugly:
Poor Cody. Damn… you almost made it...
Killer Holiday DVD, from that box art, I wanted to love you. But by the end of it all, I kind of wish we'd never crossed paths. The premise is sound but the execution leaves me wanting greener, bloodier and scarier pastures. You can score a copy today if you wanna travel down that mediocre road, but as it stands, Killer Holiday gets a 1 out of TOV 5 stars.
