Hey gang, Valkor here. While I’m still digging through my MediaView pile, I’ve come to learn one thing – I’ve gotten pickier when it comes to what I’ll cover for the site. There used to be a time when I’d toss in a film just because and good or bad I’d roll with it. And now it’s like “yes, no, maybe, I dunno”. Well, when I came across “Last Day of School”, it looked to be a definite yes. But after watching it… I kind of wish I could go back and add it to the “no” pile.
"Last Day of School” kicks off with Professor Stanley (Michael Forsch), who comes home to find his wife cheating on him with another woman. Mind you, this was after he had planned a beautiful anniversary getaway for the two of them. So the next day, the day before the last day of school, while still in a funk, Stanley decides to drop a pop quiz on his class. Four of his students – Joe (Joe Chin), Corey (Aaron McLaughlin), Hudson (Ben Stobber), and Louis (Ray Gutierrez) attempt to cheat their way through it. However, the foursome gets caught. And as punishment, Professor Stanley puts the boys to task by giving them one day to find certain items lest they fail the class and won’t be able to graduate. Achieving their objectives won’t be easy as there are many obstacles such as crazy security guards, a rich bully named Chad (Michael Larson), Corey’s ever-expanding penis, a crazy drinking contest, strippers, and loads more that stand in their way. It sounds like hilarity should be exploding all over the place? Think again! But I’ll save that for “The Bad” section.
“Last day of School” is kind of like Clerks, but more like “Date for Hire”... which is also like Clerks, where we have a bunch of guys, trying to achieve their objectives while all sorts of shenanigans ensue, all within a day. On paper, it probably sounded hilarious, but in the end… well, read on. Also, Lloyd Kaufman (Horror House) makes a pretty tepid cameo appearance. I’m not gonna hate on the guy, but he doesn’t save this film from mediocrity.
The Good:
I won’t totally bash “Last Day of School” as I find the film to be a handful of laughs that's, sadly, wrapped around a pretty bad movie. When a joke hits, it’s usually unexpected. And yet I chuckled. But it’s too bad that the jokes were few and far between. Finally, there’s plenty and I mean PLENTY of eye candy in this film! "Last Day of School" is beyond loaded with T&A with emphasis on the “T”. And that alone made this tough pill a little easier to swallow. But only a little.
The Bad:
Last Day of School had all the markings of what could have been a fun sex comedy but in the end, it turned out to be a terrible film. I mean, it was loaded with sex and the plot, as per the summary, sounds insanely good. But the final product was weak! First, the acting, for the most part, is terrible. I wasn’t expecting anything to blow me away, but damn this was really rough. Most of the actors were speaking as though they were reading straight from the script with no flow. Also, the timing on some of the dialogue was wicked off and don’t get me started on the majority of the “jokes”. Next, the editing could have been smoother and some scenes could have been shortened for time or cut out completely as they were pretty much useless. Did we really need to announce all of the contestants in the beer drinking contest? Or what about showing Joe hypnotizing each girl at the strip club? That’s just a couple of scenes that went on way longer than they should have. In the end, Last Day of School is simply a failed comedy that isn’t worth its weight in… anything!
The Ugly:
Corey’s pulsating balls and what ultimately came out of them – his cup very much runneth over!
“Last Day of School” is available now on digital services such as Amazon Instant; however, might I suggest renting/purchasing a GOOD sex comedy. Off the top of my head, Mardi Gras Spring Break comes to mind. I mean at least it has jokes that are actually funny! However, Last Day of School, out of TOV 5 stars, gets a 1.
