• Vulva Original TOV Special Editions

Hey folks, Valkor here. The idea of wearing a woman's scent, specifically after copulating, is something most guys practice. Ever notice a guy smell his finger, just out of the blue? It's not BBQ sauce he's sniffin… or maybe it is, some guys are weird that way. But why? Why do we do it? Why do we want to carry the scent of a woman with us throughout the day? For many reasons – first, if the moment was magical, you certainly don't want to forget it, and second (strange but true), it's an alluring scent that makes men desire a woman that much more. Women think it's gross, but us guys… well we can't get enough of it.

Now there's a company by the name of Vivaeros, who state they have captured that scent and have created a "personal aroma", just for your own smelling pleasures. You simply apply some to the back of your hand… or finger and recreate the magic of smelling a woman's vag that will last throughout the day. It's called "Vulva Original" and I'm curious to see how this one will work out. We're gettin a fresh batch in, so stay tuned.

And since we're on the subject of personal perfumes, I mean why not take the idea of Vulva Original and take it "To The Next Level". And thus we have – Valkor's "Vulva Original" Special Edition. These are special scents created using the finest of vaginal juices from some of our sexiest starlets. Of course they're not real, but we can dream… and hope. Check it out.

Jessica Alba's "Dark Angel Fantastic Special" – what man doesn't want to explore the crevices of this Fantastic Four hottie? And now with Dark Angel (based on the James Cameron show, where she was at her finest… I think… I dunno… Was the show any good?), you can tell your friends you did get a piece of that. Or dabble a little on the pubic mound of your lady fair and pretend you're nibbling the no-no bits of Jessica, when in fact you're really goin down on a 1,000 gorilla you met while drunk at a party. Hey through beer goggles she looked like Jessica Alba, and with some Dark Angel, she can taste like her too.

Betty White "Golden Girls Gray Edition" – we all know Rue Mcclanahan was the whore of the show, but lately Betty White has been gettin some serious buzz. Now she's what every man wants and with this new scent, you can secretly desire Betty any time, day or night. Best used if a dab is placed on your upper lip for that walkin around, smelling her pungent loveliness, everywhere feelin.

Kelly Hu "Orient Express Edition" – There's not a man on this planet (minus the gay ones) who doesn't desire the taste of the Far East. Why? Because after an hour, we're hungry for more. And Kelly Hu is the hottest and hardest working Asian female on the planet. With just a smidgen of Orient Express on the base of your fore finger, you'll be cravin to dip your egg roll into some sweet and sour Mushu, for that happy ending you'll soon crave. Just don't forget the yummy-yummy sauce.

The Olsen Twins "Double Delight Edition" – Remember the countdown for when the Olsen twins would turn 18? It was the lowest point of all maledom, but we all know most guys wanted to be the meat between those twin tower specials. But now that they're older, no one pays them no nevermind. That's why we gotta get Vivaeros to gather up the lady's labia liquids, converting back to their "just turned 18 freshness" so we can get that feeling of wanting them all over again.

Venus Williams "Center Mark Edition" – When you want that extra drive to make it through the day, you'll need something stronger than coffee, more powerful than Starbucks, even stronger than Betty White's Golden Gray Edition. You'll need Venus Williams Center Mark "fresh off the court, panty shakin musk in your face"; just one whiff and its "game, set, match!"

Halle Berry's "Swordfish Edition" – I was gonna call this one "Monster Balls", but that would imply that Halle's got a pair. And while she certainly does have a nice pair, they're above the waste, not below. Regardless, Swordfish would definitely be a stinging sensation, with that fresh off the set scent that will have you sailing through the day shoutin "Make me feel good!"

Gail Kim "Chokehold Edition" – WWE Diva, Gail Kim's scent will floor you… literally, and you'll love it as it's the smell of raw, kick ass power you'll want again and again. The boss ridin you hard? Girlfriend naggin you about some shit you didn't do, even though you were at work getting dicked by the boss? Then just one sniff is all it takes to give you the boost of confidence you'll need to show them that they are not the boss of you!

Wonder Woman "Star Spangled Edition" – What man wouldn't want the scent of an Amazonian goddess, who just fought it out with Darkseid… for three days, non-stop, all over their face? I know I would and you will too. Just the tiniest dab of this super pungent aroma is all you'll need to face off against any of your known arch nemesis or the evilest day of them all – Monday!