Hey folks, Valkor here. And if I were doing a countdown for the
top 15 film, with number one being the best – this next film (labeled
at number 12) would surely win it hands down. And to think I was
ready to pass it off as mediocre, but after having watched from
beginning Farmhouse to end… I can honestly say I was floored.
Farmhouse centers on Scarlett (Jamie Ann Allman) and Chad (William Lee Scott), newlyweds about to start their entire life anew in Seattle. But as they journey from San Diego towards new hope, Chad falls asleep at the wheel crashing their car and now the couple is stranded in the middle of nowhere. Luckily there's a farmhouse nearby and the couple seek assistance from the owner Samool (Steve Weber) and his wife Lilith (Kelly Hu). Sam informs them that the closest mechanic is 30 miles away, it was getting late, and he'll take the couple to get their car fixed come dawn. But things go from syrupy sweet to hell on earth as Sam and Lilith take the newlyweds on a torturous joyride; now Chad and Scarlett must face their past… the past they were attempting to escape.
To say anymore would definitely spoil any ounce of enjoyment you may get out of this film.
The Good:
First I was very excited that Kelly Hu was on the scene and you know TOV loves them some Kelly Hu. But surprisingly the film is very well done; the story starts out slow and you wonder how it can possibly make any sense what so ever, but as you get towards the end, your perspective changes and when it all becomes clear, you're gonna have one of those OMG moments. Think Oldboy. Yea! It's on that level. The acting is great; I especially enjoyed Steve Weber, whom I'm not used to seeing as a sick, twisted, torturer. (Love Wings!) But most important of all – the ending; It's powerful and disturbing. It will floor you.
The Bad:
The tortures stand out first and foremost; while solid and hard hitting, there simply wasn't enough. I mean Chad pretty much gets a pass, while Scarlett gets the most of it. And you would think considering how the story plays out, he SHOULD get the most, yet he doesn't. Next Jamie - definitely not a scream queen; I mean the whole cheese grater thing would have had me screaming to the gods. Sure she screamed but after a minute you're like… ok, can you put more pain into the scene? You're getting your knees scraped for cryin out loud!
The Ugly:
Need I mention the cheese grater?
Farmhouse is an absolute cinema masterpiece in the world of horror and hurt; it's a psychological drama that you won't forget even when it's over. The film gets a release Nov. 2nd. Find it! Watch it on those scary nights and enjoy. And out of TOV 5 stars, I give Farmhouse a maximum 5! That ending saved this film's ass from getting a 3.
