Hey gang, Valkor here. And we’re back, dipping into the horror scene here at MediaView; there have been moments when I watch a slasher film – good or bad – that I hope to see them again in a sequel. Mask Maker, Rites of Spring and as cheesy as it may sound, Basement Jack are slasher/killers I wouldn’t mind seeing again. Those sequels haven’t happened yet, but a film that I didn’t care much about or the killer within, Hayride, did get a sequel made. How about that? It’s called Hayride 2! And while it does score some cool, it still stumbles and falls at the end. Heavy spoilers beware my friend!
Hayride 2 takes place right after events of the first film, where it seems our survivors Steven (Jeremy Ivy), Amanda (Sherri Eakin) and Corey (Jeremy Sande) try to cope with the aftermath of all that has happened on Captain Morgan’s farm and the Hayride incident. At the same time, the two cops from the first film – Loomis (Corlandos Scott) and his partner are escorting the body of Pitchfork whilst it’s being cared for in an Ambulance just ahead. Pitchfork awakens and the killings begin again, starting with the two EMTs and reckless driving takes out Loomis and his partner (they live). This leads Pitchfork to the hospital where our three survivors are held up. And after killing his way through the hospital, he finds Amanda, where he proceeds to kidnap her and take her back to a creepy, old house deep in the woods. This leads to a final showdown between Loomis, Corey and Steven as they attempt to rescue Amanda from the clutches of Pitchfork and attempt to do away with the monster once and for all.
I cut out a lot of fat, leaving behind only the meat (just a few scraps, I know), however the ending does leave things open for another sequel. But before I delve into the TOV Breakdown, I wanna toss out a few awards that highlight some “special” moments in the film.
Worst Death Scene – Ever: Pitchfork repeatedly stabs an officer in his truck with his signature weapon and then said trunk closes on the officer, whom we assume is dead. Moments later that officer is shown alive outside of his car, pleading with Corey to kill him. It's weird that he got out of the truck as he claims he can't even move his arms. But whatevs. Ultimately He dies on his own, but that whole scene just seemed… pointless, uneventful and just horribly acted. Plus the dude survived multiple stabbings from a pitchfork... the fuck?
The “It Might Be Racist” award: Pitchfork attempts to kill a black man (Loomis) by hanging him. I’m not even kidding! Bad enough he's linked to the KKK, but did we need to go... there?
The “doesn’t know when to stay down” award: – Corey gets this one; with his first encounter with Pitchfork, he’s stabbed and repeatedly slammed against a wall to unconsciousness (he survives). And upon his second encounter with Pitchfork, he’s repeatedly stabbed – and lives! Sure the knife was little, but after two near-death ass whooping, I’d have call it quits!
The “let’s act out that one line from the Joker from "The Dark Knight” award: So Pitchfork kills a couple of EMTs, a couple of nurses, a janitor and a security guard and no one bats an eye. But a pregnant Amanda gets kidnapped and everyone loses their shit and they simply MUST find her! I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING!!
Shout out to bringing back Captain Morgan (Richard Tyson); though only in flashbacks, it was still cool having him. Plus he has one of the coolest lines in the film “The only monster you have to fear, are the ones who walk on two legs”. Fucking truth right there!
Honestly, Hayride 2 is a little bit better than the first film – at least for the first 20 minutes or so when Pitchfork is killing in the hospital that’s in the process of being renovated. If the entire film was based around that, I would have gone nuts because the stuff he was doing? So damn cool! It’s just like the first film with the hayride, but with a different setting that works so well. After that…
… Then the film just goes off into a scrambled mess of WTF!? First up, what’s the deal with the importance of Amanda? Maybe it’s something I missed after two viewings, but I don’t see why her life – over all others – was so damn important! One officer (the one who gets pitchforked) even gives a speech centering on Amanda’s kidnapping. Sure Pitchfork took out a bunch of cops and a handful of people. But fuck that, there’s a girl missing and we gotta find her! That’s bullshit! The film does nothing at all to explain why any of this matters. Maybe I missed something in the backstory, but I simply don’t get why Amanda lived. He should have killed her outright and moved on to the next victim. Next, the film has no real sense of urgency; take the events that took place the night before over at Morgan’s hayride (the first film). You would think that the hospital in this film would be scrambling as they tend to all these bodies, but people walk around as if nothing ever happened. What about when Pitchfork goes on a killing spree within the hospital – and doesn’t even hide the bodies? And yet no one seems to notice. An officer fires off his weapon at Pitchfork. AGAIN no one seems to notice. Wait Corey did, because after Pitchfork takes out the officer he kidnaps Amanda and he hears her screams. And we know what happens after that (he gets the shit kicked out of him). It's crazy that all this shit is going on and no one seems all that responsive to it. Finally, the film connects Steven to Pitchfork by looking at the slasher's past and how it relates to his parents… and it still doesn’t explain all that much to me. I simply don’t get it.
Dude getting half his face steamed off. WOOOO!
Amazon has Hayride 2 listed as a June 2nd release and if you watched the first film and you’re willing to give part two a chance, then you’ll find few a bits and pieces to enjoy. However the bulk of it will leave you scratching your head in confusion and ultimately disappointed. And out of TOV 5 stars, Hayride matches the previous film with a 1.5.