Hey folks, Valkor here. Back in 2009, TOV's own Epic-1 reviewed a film called "Tomboys" that was written and directed by one Nathan Hill. Now the dude is back with a film that he not only wrote and directed, but also starred in. The film is called Jasper and I'll be honest, isn't as good as the aforementioned film.
Jasper centers on a private eye named Jasper (Nathan Hill) who is in the midst of retiring. But just as he's about to call it a day, he gets a phone call requesting his services. Reluctant at first, Jasper heads on over to the home of Courtney (Sandy Greenwood), who wants to hire Jasper to find her son, whom is possibly held by her former boss Danvers (Liam Beattie). And just as they were on the verge of "negotiations", a couple of guys break in, snatches up Courtney, and knocks out Jasper. When he awakens, he decides to take on the case of not only find Courtney's kid, but Courtney as well.
And the film goes on as follows – Jasper gets laid, Jasper gets beat up, he gets laid, he gets beat up, he gets laid, he gets beat up. And in between getting laid and getting beat up, he'll meet other characters that don't make much sense until towards the end of the film such as a hitchhiker named Brodie (Stewart Marshall), a hotel manager named Cuddles (Claire McArdle), and the promiscuous teen daughter of Danvers, Samantha (Petra Johansson). It's not until we reach the end, when it all becomes clear and why these characters are relevant to the story.
To wrap things up, Jasper must finally confront Danvers, save Courtney, possibly win her heart and rescue her kid. All in a day's work for this private dick.
And now on with the TOV Breakdown!
As far as characters go, I actually enjoyed Nathan Hill's take on Jasper Clay. He's a private detective that falls into a lot of ass. On the downside he gets smacked up quite often, but then I'd take a fist in the mouth for a few of these women; especially Petra Johansson, who I will admit, I busted a nut after her "shower". Oh and plus points on the video game references such as Street Fighter 2 audio and the title opener, which looks like a mod of "Postal". Other than that, we move on to…
Wow! I don't know where to start with this one. The plot itself is pretty straightforward – private eye must find kidnapped girl as his final case in the PI biz. But things get kinda hazy throughout. For one thing Jasper doesn't do any detective work; he just hangs outside of places observing things. And when he does get a clue, it never leads anywhere relevant. And in the end, how does he find Danvers? Through his daughter, whom he was about to boink! Wait it gets better! The end of the film, where we have the final confrontation, doesn't end with a throwdown between the two. Noooo… Danvers sends in one of his chick boxers to finish the job! And she kicks the shit out of him. My thing is this: Why does Jasper put himself through all this trouble? The dude can fall ass backwards into… well hot ass! Why does he want this one in particular? I know it's a film and this sorta thing has to happen, but I feel a lot of people will ask the same question if they should watch this movie. If it were me and I were in Jasper's shoes, I'd say "fuck it! I can get all the ass I want with just a smile!" Finally, did I mention Jasper gets beat up a lot? Dude is packin heat, yet the bad guys always get the drop on him. You'd think midway he'd be somewhat cautious. Nope, he ends up chained to a motorcycle. (He does shoot the chain before it drags him off)
Jasper isn't the most gripping, suspenseful, action packed film I thought it to be, but it does have loads of sexy women to hold my attention and for that, I'm grateful. However there are other films that can have the same sexiness throughout and still be entertaining, which Jasper falls short on. And out of TOV 5 stars, I give the film a 2. Now where's that Tomboys DVD?