Hey gang, Valkor here. To close out 2013, I'm just gonna toss a bunch of films and a list of some of my best and worst that I've seen this year. Unfortunately for this next film, Butcher Boys DVD, it's definitely going on my no-no list; even though that first half was kind of a nice set up… the rest is just too weird for words.

Butcher Boys centers on four friends - Kenny (Matt Hensarling), Mikey (Philip Wolf), Sissy (Ali Faulkner), and Barbie (Tory Tompkins), who are out on the town for some birthday shenanigans. That is until Barbie gets it in with a couple of guys at a gas station/mini market. A chase ensues, which takes the two racing vehicles through a rough looking patch of dudes, whose dog they hit, in a really seedy side of town. That dog getting smashed sets off a series of horrific and twisted chain of events that leads to the gruesome deaths of everyone except Sissy. Her eventual capture puts her into the gruesome world of cannibalism - and she's the main course.

Butcher Boys starts out slow and a bit off but a little intense. It then peters off into just being weird, spinning out of control into "what the fuck am I watching?" of a closer. I will say this, I've never sat through a film with so much running and screaming as this one.

The Good:
There isn't much really. Had the film been shorter, it might have been something special. Regardless, the first 30 minutes of the film is pretty watchable, though the antics of some of the characters will have you rolling your eyes or groaning with annoyance. It's all about the hunt and whoever these Butcher Boys are, they do a mighty fine hunting job. One of them literally sniffs out his prey. It's disturbing… but effective. The overall tone is creepy as fuck until you get to the end. Then it's just plain weird. Other than, we switch gears to…

The Bad:
First and foremost, prepare yourselves to sit through a film with a lot of running and a lot of screaming. Keep the volume to a minimum and have a gameboy handy because you'll get a lot of chase scenes and screaming bitches... well mainly one bitch. Next, the film is chock full of dumb. And by that I mean you have two women who put themselves in precarious situations in the dumbest way possible. Don't believe me? Let's start with Barbie. She's able to escape one of the Butchers in a locker room. Whether or not this guy actually believes she's in one of the lockers after fiercely pounding away at them is moot because he eventually leaves. So what does she do? She leaves the locker and runs into one of the butchers (whom she made out with prior to this instance) and well… she gets eaten. Then there's Sissy. She's also able to escape the butchers initially. But rather than continue to find help, she stops and stares at a serene scene on an LCD TV played from a pawnshop, complete with calming music. And thus she gets caught. I'd rather these butchers track down these women than to have them caught in such a dumb manner. It's literally one of the worst setup for capture I'd ever witnessed. Moving on, the story is all over the place – what exactly is this film about? I don't quite know because things keep changing. One minute we're watching a hunt, then we're in this building with all sorts of weird shit happening, and finally its daylight, we're back out on the streets and all hell breaks loose. It's crazy and not in a good way. And speaking of crazy, this film has plenty of it to go around such as a psycho pedo baker, greased up, gun-toting cowboy, cannibals, rocket launchers, Mexican heroes, dude daintily eating a girl's brains with chopsticks and all sorts of madness that by the end of it all I'm left holding my jaw. I've seen some things but never quite like this.

The Ugly:
Them brains being eaten every so daintily. Actually it's not the act of eating them that's gruesome; it's that their being pushed through a metal grate that's kind of disturbing.

Had Butcher boys simply been a short film I'd probably appreciate it more. But given the fact that it's slow and a complete mess of film, I gotta give it thumbs down and a nod at being one of the worse and weirdest film I've ever had to sit through. But if you're curious then head on over to your favorite online retail or digital download service to check it out as it's available now. But out of TOV 5 stars, I'm giving this film a 1. I mean at least the first 30 minutes was kinda decent… kinda.
