Hey folks, Valkor here. It's rare that I'll get many comedies to review. And of those that I have gotten recently, such as Group Sex and How to Make Love to a Woman, both were totally worth my time. However this next flick up on the chopping block, "Date for Hire"… let's just say… you know what, just read on. This review pretty much speaks for itself.
Date for Hire centers on Lamont (Romus Reece), Marcus (M. Jennings), and Chris (Scott Fitzgerald), three dudes just hanging out in a bar called the "Mayflower" in the early hours of the day. Lamont points out that Marcus is a wallflower and has no game. But to prove him wrong, Marcus makes a bet that he'll get a date with the first girl that walks in the room (mind you, they don't bet anything, it's just a bet).
Enter sexy as all hell Rhonda (Jannelle Harris), who just happens to be passing by and in need of a restroom. She soon becomes the object of Marcus's affections (a bet's a bet, right?). But after some really awkward conversation and even creepier attempts to get her to stay, Rhonda eventually leaves the bar, leaving behind a dateless Marcus. But he hasn't given up the ship yet and sets out in pursuit. When he confronts her again, she tells him that she's a high class hooker, giving it up for 1G a pop. A little taken aback, Marcus heads back to the bar and asks his buddies to front the cash because he doesn't care that Rhonda is a hooker, he just wants to hang out with her.
And then things go in an entirely different direction, as emphasis is taken away from Marcus's story and tossed on over to Lamont, who wants to be a rapper. Though he has the skillz, he's not hungry enough to want it. Lamont also learns that his girlfriend is pregnant. Not only that, but her hormones are all over the place.
Wrapping it up, Marcus gets his date with Rhonda, who reveals she's not really a hooker, Lamont gets his record deal, and Chris… well he doesn't really have much of a story, but he does get his drink made – The Mary Poppins.
This one is all over the map! So let's try and bring it all together in our TOV breakdown!
Date for Hire is supposed to be a comedy, and with that in mind I'd say the film has some jokes, mostly through dialogue, we get more visual when we delve into Marcus's past relationships. I also like the rapport between Marcus, Lamont, and Chris. I think with a better script that tells a much better story, these three would make for an awesome and hilarious team. And Jennelle Harris? Definitely needed more screen time. the girl is just TOO FINE! I needs more pics because I want her as TOV's PerfectView... and other stuff we need not mention... DON'T JUDGE ME, MAN!!! But now we dig into….
Who is the focus of the story? Is it Marcus? Is it Lamont? In this type of film, it shouldn't be both at the forefront. And honestly, with a name like "Date for Hire", Lamont should have been delegated to the background, leaving full focus on Marcus and his quest for paid poon… that he just wants to hang out with. The sporadic calls from Lamont's girlfriend would have been enough, but we seriously didn't need heavy focus on his music career. And speaking of Marcus and his quest to find Rhonda – why couldn't that have been the focus? We start out with him wanting to date her, but he does nothing to try and find her. THAT'S YOUR STORY! He has to find Rhonda in order to make shit happen! And everything inbetween is just goofy fun! But the film glazes over that aspect of the story in favor of Lamont. So rather than get that quest for paid poon, the film sums up Marcus's quest with a dream sequence, where a spirit of sorts tells him to "look for the Vagina" and he automatically assumes (and is correct in his assumption) that Rhonda is off getting a wax. BAM! That closes that loose end. And that's where I raised my hands in defeat. It shouldn't have gone down like that. Next, a lot of the jokes aren't stretched out long enough; definitely some missed opportunities like Lamont's Gay stalker (he gets one speaking scene that could have been way funnier), or the scene in Modesto, which would have worked better had Lamont and Marcus done goofier shit while high (another opportunity where you could have done more shit with the gay stalker). Finally we have the editing – not good! I know it's an amateur, indie type film, but a little more work in the editing room, maybe tightening some scenes, or removing some scenes all together is just what Date for Hire needed.
Date for Hire (also known as Mayflower!) doesn't have much going for it and quite frankly it's a film that could have been so much more. However poor editing, many missed comedic opportunities, and jokes that make you go "UGH!" makes this film totally not worth the investment – in either time or money. Out of TOV 5 stars, I give Date for Hire 1 star.