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The Expendables Movie Review


Hey folks, Valkor here. This weekend I had the chance to see a film I've been dying to see since it's inception. An action film that brings together big name action movie legends into one epic motion picture, such as Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Eric Roberts, Mickey Rourke, Randy Couture, And Terry Crews to name a few. I'm talkin about "The Expendables" and it's ready to blow you away.

The Expendables


The Plot of the film… what plot! There really isn't any! But if you wanna nail it down, how about we look back at a past film called Rambo (aka Rambo IV), which saw the return of John Rambo off in the jungles of Burma trying to rescue a bunch of missionaries (who I feel shouldn't have been there in the first place). Similar plot of The Expendables – Stallone and crew must rescue the daughter of a General, Sandra (Giselle Itie) from the clutches of the evil James Munroe (Eric Roberts), who entered the town, spread a bunch of money around, and is now running shit. The team consists of leader Barney Ross (Stallone), Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), Ying Yang (Jet Li), Gunner (Dolph Lundgren), Toll Road (Randy Couture), and Hale Caesar (Terry Crews). Each merc brings their own special skills to the force and are utilized to their fullest capacity (think G.I. Joe), for example Christmas is great with knives and hand guns, Ying Yang is the martial artist, and Caesar brings in the big guns, while Gunner and Toll Road are the muscle.

The Expendables


There's also some side stories such as dealing with Christmas's relationship, the falloff of Gunner, and Ying Yang's quest for more money. The side stories are merely that – side stories, sort of an appetizer for the main course – the action!

From the moment the film starts till the last thirty minutes, the screen is loaded with explosions, bullets flying, and kung-fu kicking action. I and most others knew going in what the film would be about and it didn't let down in that respect. But I'll let my review speak for itself.

The Expendables


The Good:

The Expendables is bad ass on a biscuit, topped with amazing amount of cheese, but still easy goin down! I got exactly what I paid for and then some. I didn't go in expecting anything more than a brainless action flick and I got it! Stallone brought together an amazing amount of talent and strung it all together in one amazing performance. But Jason Statham steals the show as the movie is essentially about his character. Well not really, but it feels that way because he gets the most screen time. And honestly, I thought he was really good! I knew of Jason's skills from the Transporter films, but he pretty much upped the ante in The Expendables, bringing more than his A-Game as an action movie star, to the table. Dude was pullin off some series knife and gun combos that were mad impressive!

The Expendables


But the real star of the film is the action – you'll get tons of it, and it's gruesome! Body parts go splat, dudes get shot up, knifed up, and blown to bits! There are explosions on top of explosions, buildings crashing down and an army is laid to waste in a swooping aerial battle! Car chases, hand to hand combat, and Terry Crews bustin out the BFG on some soldiers! My god… it was beautiful! *catches breathe!* The cameo appearance of Bruce Willis (Mr. Church) and Arnold Schwarzenegger (Trench) was quite fitting and a total fan service that didn't disappoint; loved the joke about Trench wanting to be president. Heh! Finally the pacing of the film is mad brisk, slowing down just so you could catch your breath. I freakin loved it! Nuff said!

The Expendables


The Bad:

Did anyone not see Batman Begins? Talk about some tight editing on the fight scenes! Everything flashes by in a blur! You'll be lucky if you catch some dude getting his neck snapped or leg shot off. If there's another one, slow things down just a tad ok?

The Expendables


The Ugly:

Another movie where Stallone rescues the girl, but doesn't get a piece? Come on man! Some boobs would have been nice icing on the cake!

The Expendables


If there is a sequel:

And we can only hope there is, but it would have to revolve around Stallone's team versus Schwarzenegger's people. Wesley Snipes needs the money, get him involved. But of course Jean Claude Van Damme needs to be in it (I think after this film, he just might have a change of heart).

The Expendables


The Expendables, for the fellas, is a must see actioner that doesn't disappoint in that regard. (And hey even the ladies can enjoy it). Loads of action and star power will make this an action classic that simply cannot fail. Bring on The Expendables pt. 2! Check it, out of TOV 5 stars, I'm givin the film a rock solid, in your face, slap you across the face with my dick just because the movie amped me up so much, 4.5 stars and it's been Valkor tested and TOV Approved!

The Expendables


Valkor out!


Email: valkor@the-other-view.com


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The Expendables Movie Review
The Good: Great cheesy action flick
The Bad: Editing on the fight scenes
The Ugly: Non boobs
TOV 5 star rating: 4.5 stars
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