Hey folks, Valkor here. A couple of months back, I reviewed anthology
film "Do
Not Disturb" (written and directed by Mali Elfman, which I
not only gave a 5 but I thought "was one of the most unique films
I've seen this year". But then this happened. I get another anthology,
and I find this one to actually be better than the last one. Can
I give two similar movies the same score knowing one is better
than the other? Do I have to raise the star bar? Check it out,
it's Burning Palms written and directed by Christopher B. Landon.
Burning Palms wraps up five tales, all located around Los Angeles, into one dark comedic film that borders on taboo. Unlike Do Not Disturbed, the stories are not really connected, though two of them do feature Shannon Doherty as a psychiatrist - with a bad English accent. Check out these stories.
The Green-Eyed Monster – Dennis (Dylan McDermott – Dark Blue) and his new wife Dedra (Rosamund Pike) pick up Dennis's daughter Chloe (Emily Meade) from the airport after being away at school. However Dedra discovers that daddy and daughter appear to be a bit… too close for her comfort. And now she feels she is competing with Chloe for the love of Dennis. Is she?
This Little Piggy – Chad (Robert Hoffman) and Ginny (Jamie Chung – Dragon Ball Evolution) explore new worlds, when Chad makes an unusual request of Ginny during sex. Ultimately she complies, but now Ginny can't seem to shake "that lovin feelin" no matter what she does. It's to the point that it drives her to insanity (My favorite story).
Buyer's Remorse – Gay couple Tom (Anson Mount) and Geri (Peter MacDissi) adopt an African child through the black market, whom they name "Mahogany" (Tiara McKinney). However she's not responding at all to Tom and Geri's affections. And the two begin to have second thoughts on whether adopting a child was such a good idea... especially when she emerges from her shell.
Kangaroo Court – When something of value goes missing from one of the maids who work in a mansion resided by three boys and their hippie babysitter Mary Jane (Lake Bell), one of the boys wants to hold a court session to get to the bottom of things. Actually… he already knows the real story, which will shock and awe you.
Man Eater – Christmas will hold new meaning for Sarah Cotton (Zoe Saldana), when she's raped by an unknown assailant. Fortunately for her, the guy dropped his wallet in her place. And not only does she seek him out, but invites him to dinner and asks for more of his style of "sweet lovin".
Blown away? Indeed I was! On with the TOV Breakdown.
The Good:
I love a film that I know absolutely nothing about going in and walking away having it exceed my expectations. There's not one tale out of the five that's not enjoyable or a snooze on any level – they're dark, disturbing, perverted, and oh so funny. "This Little Piggy" was the most fun; I mean what guy hasn't made THAT request? (I don't because I don't roll that way). And that last story, Man Eater, yea that will leave your jaw hanging. Props to the comic book paneling which is reminiscent of one of my favorite anthology films – Creepshow; it seriously adds to the charm. Acting kudos goes out to Jamie Chung and Zoe Saldana, who play really "interesting" characters. Is it wrong that I find a needy chick such as Sarah Cotton (Saldana)… kinda hot? I mean if I dated a girl like her, I probably wouldn't dump her because I know I could get away with a lot. Then again… she does seem kinda needy… I love the story, I love the cast, I freakin loved this film!
The Bad:
N/A
The Ugly:
N/A
Burning Palms is available now on Blu Ray and DVD (Blu Ray is the best) and while it didn't quite "change my life", it was very entertaining, outrageously funny, and quite possibly the wildest film I've seen thus far. Out of TOV 5 stars, I'm giving Burning Palms 5 stars and it's been Valkor viewed, TOV Approved.