Hey folks, Valkor here. I'll admit I'm not the biggest fan of Vampires, especially Vampire films. And lately Vampires have been getting a ton of press – from the Twilight Movies, to The Vampire Diaries TV series, True Blood; so many things Vampires that, to me, the market is over-saturated. I mean how many more stories can you tell about Vampires and have it still be considered good? Well we'll toss one more flick into the fire, this one called "The Bleeding". However I think I saw this film already, which was called "Blade" and it was done way, WAY better!
The Bleeding stars Michael Matthias as Shawn Black, a soldier just returned from Afghanistan; he awakens in a hospital, knowing one thing – someone has to pay. Pay for what exactly? Why the death of his family of course, who were killed by Vampires. So Shawn abruptly leaves the hospital on a quest to learn more about the vampires whom he must hunt. And oh boy does he learn a lot! For one thing, he discovers that he's actually a "vampire slayer", who later learns that the head vampire is none other than his brother Kain (Vinnie Jones), whom he thought was dead. Shawn ultimately seeks the help of a priest named Father Roy. And together they face off against the entire Vampire horde.
Long story short, Shawn and Father Roy start at the Vampire's base – an abandoned warehouse turned club, which then ends with a street chase involving a semi. Do we know who's gonna come out on top?
Toss in such talents as Armand Assante and DMX (X gonna give to ya!), and you have yourself one picnic of a B movie.
The Good:
The Bleeding has a lot of cool flowing throw it. For one, the action gets pretty intense at times, especially towards the end. I really enjoyed the final chase – guns, cars, bullets, explosions, and a big fucking truck! Yea, that was intense... a touch sloppy, but intense nonetheless! There are also loads of hot cars that Shawn drives, I mean it's only a couple… or maybe even one, but it's still pretty sweet! As far as the acting is concerned, I think Michael Madsen (Clear Lake, WI, The Killing Jar) brings the fun and it's always a pleasure to watch this guy act. Too bad he didn't make it to see the final battle; I would have rooted for a sequel. Then again we didn't actually see Father Roy die, just the explosion in the building he was in. So read into that what you will. Oh and before I forget, there are a couple of hottie babes circling this film. Check out Rachelle Leah as Lena, who's hangin with her dippy friend Jenny (Madison Weidberg). Mmmmm… mmmyessss…
The Bad:
Here's where we cut the fat away from the good, leaving not much good left… just a load of fat (And it ain't good for ya!). For one thing, the editing is mad choppy. And I mean it's so bad that if MST3K were still airing and they watched this film, the jokes would be through the roof because the editing is just that bad. Ok maybe I exxagerate a little... but only a little. Some parts are repeated and others which make no sense. Take for instance the final battle and Shawn is on top of the trailer of the truck firing away at the vampires, with three weapons – two machine guns and a shotgun. And for some reason every time we cut back to Shawn he's firing off either weapon. 1) Where is he hiding them and 2) How is he making the switch so instantly? My next complaint stems from the fact that this film isn't sure what it wants to be – is it a Blade type or is it Fast and the Furious? Maybe it's a mixture of both? Sorry but the two don't actually mesh together all that well, though I'd love for someone else to take another crack at it; fast cars and vampires? That might be worth a rental. The Bleeding isn't really a long film, but so many odd things happen, plus you toss in the crappy editing and it just feels long. You start to lose your patience mid way because you want this piece of Schmidt to be over with. Finally, because I could go on for days, one of the weirdest moments ever, was when Father Roy gives Shawn this magical sword that only he can use and he must use it to kill his brother. When Shawn sheath's the sword, it has this glow surrounding it. Mind you I was mid-guzzle on a Snapple… and let's just say I had some cleaning to do. REALLY? Did the sword need to glow? Father Roy couldn't stress enough its importance enough, so why did we need the glow? I'm sorry, I know that's kinda reaching, but if you watch the scene when it happens, you'll understand why I feel this way. It's the goofiest thing I've ever seen.
The Ugly:
The fact that I watched this film with nothing to show for it, save for this review and Snapple everywhere! *sigh*
If you enjoyed the Blade films and the Fast and the Furious films, you might and I stress MIGHT enjoy The Bleeding; though it doesn't have too much going for it, some good action and Michael Madsen help to make this gritty pill, easier to swallow. And out of TOV 5 stars, I give "The Bleeding" a 2.
