Hey Ace here BEACHSLAPPING u with the hot sexay and brainless review of Bitchslap featuring some tits some more tits and some ass!!! This is enough to make you feel like you're in a strip club within the comfort of your own home….TWO THUMBS UP!!! Just joking, this movie features Julia Voth, Erin Cummings*irony*, and America Olivo. And It is directed by Rick Jacobson.
Love that tag line
The movie starts in a desert with three chicks Trixie, Hel, and Camero (Julia Voth, Erin Cummings, and America Olivo) coming out of a car looking hot and sexy as advertised. Out the trunk is Gage (Micheal Hurst) in a speedo *GAGS*. Camero and Hel torture him which would usually be a good thing but not in this situation where private property gets damaged!!! *OUCH*. Trixie, who is obviously a ho, pleads not to have her pimp Gage hurt in any way. That goes out the window when Camero, a lesbian psycho, shoots Gage and the information they wanted is now gone. With the girls panicking over Gage's death, Deputy Fuchs (Ron Melendez)*irony again* appears and remains suspicious due to the fact they trespassed private property. After he leaves, havoc ensues between Hel and Camero because Camero believes Hel is withholding information about the 200 million dollar loot and that she also has a thing for Trixie. Everything hits the fan when Kinki and Hotwire (Minae Noji, William Gregory Lee) attacks them and wants the bounty for themselves as well.
Good:
Well one of the only good thing I can really think of about this movie is that the main characters are MUY CALIENTE!! They are so GOOD GAWD and the director knew it too. Well the movie is based on a weak comedy and it seems like they cover it up with ass and tits. The other good thing is I was a fan of the Hercules and Xena series awhile ago so it was good to see actors and actress like Lucy Lawless, Renee O Connor, Michael Hurst, and Kevin Sorbo in the film.
Bad:
Oh my god EVERYTHING else…. The plot is almost non-exist. The movie relies on the sex appeal and bad comedy to get by. This does this movie absolutely NO FAVORS. It might as well be labeled a softcore porno. Matter of fact, it could have easily been a porno…bring a dildo and some awkward slow moments with some fake moans and there you go. The ending was a little interesting but the movie made me loose interest in the plot.
Ugly:
Michael Hurst in a speedo. NUFF SAID!
Conclusion:
Don't get me wrong, I don't see nothing wrong with a little T&A. If you are making an exploitation comedy, the movie has to be funny and apparently Bitch Slap had way too much T&A and very little story. I will be generous and give it two boobies up!!
Ace
